Hold on and have faith in whatever you believe in, be it god, yourself, the healing power of time, modern medicine or a combination of any or all of them. Hold on, because it’s all just temporary an none of it is real. It might feel real – unbearably so, but it isn’t. It is valid and it is legitimate and it should be acknowledged, but it isn’t real.
These moments of crushing despair, impending doom and a fear so thick you can feel it trying to strangle you, are all the figments of an unwell mind and you WILL come through it and you WILL get better…just hold on.
You won’t always feel this tired and life won’t always ache. You will move beyond this yearning for a quiet relief and a release from this malaise that makes your soul itch unrelentingly. Just hold on.
It’s okay if you don’t feel ready to race forward and embrace recovery. These things take time and you’re only ready when you’re ready. It’s as important to feel these feelings as it is to let them go.
You can’t just think yourself well again. If it were that simple we’d all be happy all of the time, because nobody would choose this. Life has its lessons and we all learn them in our own time. Don’t be hard on yourself if you aren’t getting better as quickly as you think you should be. It takes as long as it takes and it can’t be rushed and that’s okay.
The most useful lesson I’ve learned is to be in the moment and have faith in the future. Once I stopped worrying that I’d never be okay again and trusted that I’d come out the other side. I relaxed into the moment and felt what I needed to feel. I cried my tears and had patience that if I held on, I would one day be okay again.
I’m certain there will be relapses, times in my life when the walls start closing in and it all feels like too much. It won’t always be sunshine and rainbows. But in those moments of chaos, to the best of my ability I will continue to hold on and trust that I will weather the storm as I have time and time again.
Hold on, because better days are coming and you deserve to be happy.