Categories
Mental Health

Silencing The Critic Within

If there’s one thing life has taught me. It’s that we are our own worst critic. Other people’s false opinions of us in our formative years help us form the opinions we hold of ourselves in the years to follow. It’s not particularly helpful. She’s shy, she’s not very confident, she’s a bit scatty. He’s not very clever, he’s socially awkward, his boisterous.

The thing is, we are not these things…we are whoever or whatever we want to be. We are pure potential and if only the voice that shouted the loudest when we were working out what we were to become was the voice that screamed “YOU CAN DO IT” we would be looking at a very different us right now.

But that is not to say that this you can’t emerge. We are always growing, always changing and there is no limit to what we can do with the right mindset. What if we went back and turned every “You can’t” into an “I can”, every cruel word into a kind one? Or observe these cruelties as a third party and intervene on our own behalf?

If we could love ourselves with the compassion of a parent, or a friend and encourage ourselves to progress with a supportive smile and the belief that we can achieve anything we set our mind and heart , there would be no boundaries to what we could become.

So the next time somebody says something unkind, something unsupportive or derogatory, please, don’t believe them. Instead, be your own cheerleader and remind yourself that actually, you are quite brilliant and capable of great things.

Categories
Mental Health

Stop With The Shouty RageĀ 

Why is the world so angry? Imagine if we could all just let go of that anger and focus on how we could make the world a happier, kinder place. How much nicer would the world be for all of us if we could just stop being expressions of our own rage?

Maybe all it takes is the decision to change our thinking and the patience to make it a habit. I have spent a large portion of my life as an unwitting hostage to my own way of thinking. I saw the negatives in each situation, worried about things that could go wrong, felt resentful when things didn’t go well and chose to believe I had no choice but to accept these feelings and suffer them. I was wrong.

What if I told you, being offended was a choice? Or being upset, or angry or hurt? Admittedly, it’s a choice that we are often unconscious of but once we get our head around that fact, it becomes a lot easier to take yourself out of other peoples business and just get on with being happy. Not being offended, or upset, angry or hurt is also a choice. It’s not as easy as the first option but it is far more beneficial.

If someone is rude to you and says something hurtful or does something that is a horrible reflection on them. If you choose to believe them or be offended by what they say and do, then who suffers? Only you. Better to let them live their life in a way they see fit and focus on living your own.

It takes a lot of work, but it can be done. The trick I’ve found is to notice your thoughts and when a negative one creeps in, acknowledge it and then replace it with something more beneficial. Little by little you might notice a shift in how you’re thinking and feeling because your thoughts affect your feelings. If you can choose how you react to those thoughts the possibilities for happiness are endless and if we’re all feeling happier and being nicer, imagine what the world could become.